I once thought to myself, Imagine having the title of "Sister" in front of my name. Wouldn't it be a wonderful accomplishment to be a nun and for my name to show that I devote myself solely to God? I would be a person who changes the world. Well...I left the convent and didn't earn my desired title of Sister Mary Awesomeness or whatever. So, I thought to myself, What am I? An "ex-nun?" A convent dropout? What am I without that awesome title? Next, I spent a lot of time in and out of the hospital for major depression and OCD. I asked myself, What am I? I am not in college and I am not working. I'm not a missionary or a prayerful nun--I'm actually super dependent on my parents, medication, and therapy right now. Am I just a sick, crazy person? Someone to be pitied for not being able to function? Then, I entered college. Wow, wasn't I moving up in the world? Wasn't that the norm for people my age? I'm finally setting myself up for success. I am on the path to getting a worthy title and status in the world which is supposed to give me comfort and money. Best of all, I should be appreciated with a college degree. And now, I'm choosing to major in Religion *cringe*. That won't get me far. Money and title are going down the drain with that choice. What will I be? A setup for homelessness? A person who will die from drowning in student debt? Now, on the flip side, I look at my Religion major and all that I'm learning. I think, Wow, look at all of this knowledge I'm accumulating. Knowledge and education are forming me into an intelligent person who knows so much about the world. I know all sorts of things now and I can learn even more if I work hard enough. I will write books, start an organization, become an advocate for the mentally ill, the homeless, and for religious vocations. But what if I never earn the degree? What if I never pay off my debt and find a good job? What if I never publish a book, never start an organization, and never travel the world as a motivational speaker? What if I can't actually keep up an intelligent conversation--am still too naive to understand innuendo, still don't understand politics, and can't master socializing? What am I? I am Dignity. Dignity is God's great delight; God's ruby to love and save. Dignity is a child of a benevolent Father. Sometimes Dignity does great things and sometimes Dignity does terrible things. Sometimes Dignity is immobile and can't think for herself, support herself, or support another person. Yet, Dignity is a great treasure; a royal diadem in the hand of her Father (Isaiah 63:2). Dignity may save a person or lose a person, but Dignity will not lose her title and not lose her worth. My point is that we are all Dignity. Each person who has ever existed and will exist has been given Dignity. Think of the phrase, "God loves you for what you are--not what you do." We are each worthy of respect and honor and love. Our actions, accomplishments, possessions, and titles will disappear. As the Bible says, "The grass withers, the flower wilts, but the word of our God stands forever" (Isaiah 40:8). And what has the word of our God proclaimed? That we have been made "little less than a god," and we are crowned with "glory and honor" (Psalm 8:6). Are you feeling little or like you have no title or accomplishments? Are you only loving people who are attractive and full of achievement, success, and strength? What of the unborn, the elderly, the mentally ill, the addicted, those in prison, and the socially awkward? Well, "the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are all the more necessary, and those parts of the body we consider less honorable we surround with greater honor, and our less presentable parts are treated with greater propriety" (1 Cor 12:22-23). No, I am not a convent dropout. I am not a sick, crazy person. I am not a person set up for homelessness. I am not an author or an intelligent person. I don't need accomplishments. For something has already been accomplished for me. That is the gift of Dignity.
1 Comment
Chris Beltowski
2/1/2018 10:53:55 am
Jackie,
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AuthorJacqueline St. Clare: I spent six months in a cloistered convent, and now I'm a college student! Archives
April 2021
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