Hey! So I sold all that I had and bought this giant field. Oh, don't you worry! Buried inside this field is a great treasure. Alright, I know it looks like this barren, flat field, with nothing in it but thick dirt, but I'm serious, there is a treasure buried in it! By the way, the language I am speaking is parables! Jesus' clever, clever parables. The treasure hidden in a field is one of my favorite parables and one of the shortest: "The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure buried in a field, which a person finds and hides again, and out of joy goes and sells all that he has and buys that field" (Mathew 13:44). So, are you curious about this treasure that I have? Would you like to take a look at it? Sure! Well, here is the treasure... Careful! Oh no! Are you okay? I know! I know! Looking at the treasure can be blinding if you look at it straight on. It can be so bright that we turn our faces from it and don't dare look at it again. Here, is this better? Please tell me you see the crucifix in the eye. It's not just an eye! There is something the eye is looking at. There is something inside the looker. It's the treasure! This view of it isn't as blinding, is it? Sometimes it's best to just look at the treasure through someone else's eyes before we look on it with our own. That way, we get a taste; a sample; an image of the actual treasure. Then, it beckons us to come closer and closer and see the treasure face on for ourselves!
Alright. Let's take a look at this treasure through my eyes. I just want to be glorified. I feel like this slave in a world of imperfection. Imperfection in the world, in others, and in myself. How can I be glorified? I try to glorify myself by chasing after my own pleasure, delight, and satisfaction. I glorify myself by deciding for myself what is good and what is evil. I glorify myself by tearing apart myself and anyone in my way apart so that I can be the one in control. I see that I am the center of the universe. But I am no more the center of the universe than the earth is. In truth, I was designed to revolve around the Son. I was made to glorify the Shining Light. I was made for blissful union with the Creator. Alas, I pursue the things of this earth over the Creator of the earth. I use the people, the places, and the things on our planet for myself. I become so thickheaded that it looks to me that I am the creator of the earth and the universe and can thus use all that resides in it for my own glory. Or, I become so thickheaded that it looks to me that there is no creator of the earth and the universe and I can thus use all that resides in it for my own glory. I become trapped seeking fulfillment where none can be given to me. I do what brings me glory, but I find that glorifying myself is in no way glorious. So the Creator Who is Glory Himself chooses to stand beside me. Instead of peering down at us little people on this little earth He created, He becomes one of the little people in the ginormous universe. He takes on all that is imperfect in me and all that is imperfect in others. Every selfish attempt at self-glorification that is actually due to Glory Himself, He takes on. The imperfections of mind, soul, body, and heart, due to my sin, He takes upon Him, and takes upon Him, and takes upon Him, until it literally kills Him! I look at Him questionably and wonder how one can be glorified by denying oneself and giving oneself totally for another. But this is all my little self knows! I only know the way of self-glorification, so how can I understand Love? How can I understand laying down one's life for one's friends, which is Love? Love Who Is Glory. Love Who Was. Love Who Is To Come. Love Who creates me. Love Who nestles inside my soul of sin and imperfection. Overwhelmed by this totally strange and foreign, yet totally attractive and appealing and glorious Love, I follow Him. I chase Him like a madwoman. My sin and imperfection are still there but Love has saved me and shown me Himself. So I bound after Him. I follow Him and try to imitate Him; He Who teaches me the Way of true glory: Love. ....... That is the treasure that I show you through my eyes. I would keep it to myself, but that only brings self-glorification. Now that I have my Teacher, Love, I glorify Him. And what glory it brings to Him when I show you His bright shining Love so that you too may glorify Him. You can just look at the treasure through my eyes if that is what you're able to take. If you want, you look upon the treasure yourself with your own eyes. If you want even more, you can take the treasure. Please, take it, for I'm dying to share it with you (literally dying with Love Who dies to share the treasure). Know that when you take the treasure, you have a choice to make. You can either throw the treasure away as trash or keep it. Before throwing it away, though, I suggest that you hold it, feel its weight, and study its glory. Instead of simply listening to me ramble on about how much I love this treasure and how this treasure has transformed my life, I suggest that you take the treasure home and ask: Who made this treasure? How did Jacqueline get the treasure? Why do I now have the treasure? What is this treasure? What does it feel like when I hold it? What does it feel like when I'm not holding it? Where do I put it? What do I do with it? What do I believe about this treasure? Do I even consider this to be treasure? If I find this treasure in a desolate field, is it worth hiding it again, and out of joy, going and selling all that I have and buying that field?
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Have you seen the movie, Coco? I certainly was not planning on watching it, but I just so happened to be eating lunch this Sunday on the couch when my sister turned it on (it's on Netflix, by the way). I planned on leaving right when I finished my mac and cheese, but I became immediately entranced by this animated Disney/Pixar film. It was unlike anything I had watched before and it totally caught me by surprise. This movie had incredible themes that made my sisters and I cry with happiness. It presented the amazingly counter-cultural value of family. Yes, family--and even a broken family made up of imperfections. Listen: the father left his family. The great-grandmother had some form of aging illness that was causing her to forget her family members. The grandma was pretty forceful and mean even though she cared for her family. They were a strict family forbidding the youngest boy from playing any music. I won't spoil it for you because I want you to watch it, but what unfolds blew me away. It inspired me to love my own family and to put them before my own selfish desires. Can I tell you about some real-life people who have inspired me? My mom and dad bought a business--as scary as it sounds, full of unknowns--to support my sisters and I. My grandma and grandpa have come to help out with my parents new business, be it accounting help or cleaning the house. At my internship with the Archdiocese, I've been welcomed and prayed with, attending to my social, work, education, and spiritual needs. At my gardening job, though I'm not an expert gardener, I have been welcomed by the volunteers and have been treated with dignity and care. Friends from school, the hospital, and the convent have written to me, texted me, and called me. I just went to a lovely wedding, surrounded by a family set on having a good time with each other and a good time with God. One of my sisters just can't give enough hugs. Another sister has encouraged me with my battle with OCD. Another sister has invited young men and women into her home for companionship and fun. The priest at my church just gave us a Eucharistic procession and Eucharistic Adoration--thank you thank you, Father, for giving us Jesus and saying Holy Mass. Our parish just got a hospitality committee so there was a lady standing under an umbrella in the rain, holding the door open for us as we walked into church. There is this other priest that I met who spoke to me as if I were the most valued person in the world, I saw him speak to every other person as if he/she was the most valued person in the world, and then he gave me a miraculous medal to give to someone I met on the street, encouraging me to treat every person as the most valued in the world! The biggest thing is that tons and tons of people pray for me. I can't count how many people have prayed for me and are praying for me. I've witnessed people coming together to pray and intercessory prayer teams and healing services. There are elderly people I know who treat me as if I were there very own flesh and blood granddaughter. There are even babies who let me hold them as if I were their big sister (though it's not likely that intentional for the babes but we know God is intentional)! What is the point I'm getting at here? I don't even know, Holy Spirit. I just know that the concreteness and even the concept of family is in crisis, as our Archbishop has put it (in this super lit letter called Unleash the Gospel--look it up online if you get the chance), but the family is the heart of unleashing the Gospel--aka, the family is the heart of the message of Jesus Christ, who shows us our true, ever-present Father, poured upon us by the power and love of the Holy Spirit. I guess you could say I am witnessing the love of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit in my every day life. Our families are imperfect and are in crisis. There is divorce, abortion, contraception, addiction, abandonment and abuse. Perhaps what we would consider "lesser problems," there are overprotective parents, under protective parents, silent treatments, heated arguments, lazy children, inattentive children, sibling rivalry, etc. Yet, God is ever at work. Grant us more, Lord. Grant us more. Thank you for the faith I have witnessed in others. Thank you for the hope I have witnessed in others. Thank you for the love I have witnessed in others. There is a war in society over the family? Okay. But the family exists. And the Triune God, the Perfect Family prevails. He has called us to partake in this continuous gift of self; this continuous gift of love. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are at work and God is being glorified. Fire up, ya'll. The family will not be defeated! Look at our Church. We've got the sexual abuse scandals, cold-shouldered parishioners, decreasing numbers and sometimes lousy music! Individuals and some groups have lost battles, indeed. But the war is already won (That is some sort of famous saying, isn't it). Jesus Christ is risen and triumphant. The family is not lost. We are alive and running. Let efforts such as next January's World Youth Day, Unleash the Gospel, synods throughout the Church on the family, and the witnesses of individuals, families, and communities around us encourage us. You can deny that Jesus Christ is alive and walking among us. But you cannot deny this witness that I give you. Peace be with you and go love your family, extended family, community family, world family, and your Triune Family who is wedded to us, His Body, the holy Catholic Church. And watch the movie, Coco! |
AuthorJacqueline St. Clare: I spent six months in a cloistered convent, and now I'm a college student! Archives
April 2021
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Unexpected Church MembersAll words that are underlined can be found on the "Glossary" page
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