At the convent, all of the postulants and the novices have what is called a Novice Mistress. The Novice Mistress is, as her title states, the mistress of novices. In other words, the Novice Mistress is the nun who helps the new-comers to adjust to their new way of life. My Novice Mistress was amazing. In a sense, I saw her as my guardian angel. When I started praying the Liturgy of the Hours with the sisters, she helped me know what page to turn to. She taught me the different ways to kneel, how to walk in procession, how to clean properly, and even how to eat properly! She helped with the communication between me and my family according to the Poor Clare life. She would talk to me privately about any troubles or concerns. She taught me how to do the laundry, the ironing, the dishwashing, and every little thing, from how to properly address Mother Abbess to how to eat bread without wasting a crumb. I was to call her "Dear Mistress," which sounds strange to the modern tongue. It took me a little while to adjust to the old fashioned title. While at the convent, I learned that Dear Mistress had pancreatic cancer. She was ever positive and hopeful despite her illness. But she certainly suffered. I left the convent in the spring of 2015. Dear Mistress passed away this spring of 2020 from her cancer. Her Poor Clare sisters say that she died in peace and happiness. I know we have a saint in heaven. I will always remember her and her devotion to the Blessed Virgin. I'll remember the love of Christ that she showed me and the smiles that we shared. I'll remember her concern for me, which was like that of a spiritual mother. I invite anyone who may be discerning religious life to ask my Novice Mistress, Sr. Christiana, to pray for you. I think she'll continue her good works of helping the new nuns in heaven just as she did on earth.
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I realized that I'm becoming sloppy and lazy when it comes to watching Mass online. I mean, I'm in the comfort of my own home, so I wear sweats, no makeup, and no contacts. I don't even need to prepare for Mass. That is, I don't need to get ready and drive to church. Instead, I can sit on the couch with my phone, drinking coffee until the very minute Mass live-streams on my computer. Ever heard that the more you put into Mass, the more you'll get out of it? Well, this weekend, I felt inspired to put more into Mass. I went to a Saturday night vigil Mass. I dressed up as I typically would for a Sunday Liturgy, complete with hair and makeup. I took a few minutes before Mass to sit quietly and pray in preparation. My dad, thankfully, is very good at setting up "pews" out of chairs and an "altar" out of a TV tray in our house. Even though I wasn't able to receive the Eucharist, I still fasted for one hour before Mass, so my body and heart would be in the right disposition. See, Mass is a wedding feast! And the Church is the Bride. As a part of the Church, I also am a bride. And though I am attending this great wedding spiritually and not physically, and there is no tangible action in my Livingroom besides a little computer screen, I need to be ready for Jesus, the Bridegroom who will come at any moment. And I literally don't want the Bridegroom to find me sleepy and sloppy. I want him to find me ready, alert, and vigilant. Quarantine is not an excuse to let down our guard. In fact, when this pandemic reminds us of "the end times," we have all the more reason to be ready and alert for the second coming of Jesus Christ. Jesus says in a parable, "The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who gave a marriage feast for his son, and sent his servants to call those who were invited to the marriage feast, but they would not come." Matthew 22:2-3 So, that part of the parable is for those who are invited to Mass but don't attend. Eventually in the parable, the king tells his servants that "The wedding is ready, but those invited were not worthy. Go therefore to the streets, and invite to the marriage feast as many you find." Matthew 22:8-9 We Mass-goers are the ones who accept the invitation to the marriage feast! "But when the king came in to look at the guests, he saw there a man who had no wedding garment; and he said to him, 'Friend, how did you get in here without a wedding garment?' And he was speechless. Then the king said to the attendants, 'Bind him hand and foot, and cast him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.' For many are called, but few are chosen." Matthew 22:11-14 Now, I'm not saying you're going to hell if you wear sweats to Mass. I'm saying that we shouldn't let quarantine and isolation be a time to let our guard down. I'm saying that our physical readiness can reflect our spiritual readiness. So, how did going to Mass with this disposition go? It was a challenge with the dog walking around and barking and it's weird still being in the comforts of the Livingroom. But I felt like I was stepping into the great wedding banquet of the King, and Jesus was there, celebrating with me and the whole Church. It was easier for me to enter the great mystery of the Mass because of my dress and because of my preparation. Here is my challenge for you: Prepare yourself for the wedding feast--even if you're watching it online. It is a way for us to keep holy the Sabbath day and further enter the celebration of the Mass. |
AuthorJacqueline St. Clare: I spent six months in a cloistered convent, and now I'm a college student! Archives
April 2021
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Unexpected Church MembersAll words that are underlined can be found on the "Glossary" page
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