Have you ever stepped out of the world for a time? Maybe you went on a retreat for a weekend to disconnect yourself from life. A vacation, perhaps? One in which you didn't check your email? Maybe you've gone for a walk in the woods, or closed the door to your room for some peace and quiet. Imagine stepping out of the world for practically every day of your life. That would be one way to describe a cloistered nun. A cloistered nun steps out of the world so that she may totally concentrate on God. Wow. What does that entail? No cellphones, computers or iPods. No driving cars or taking public transportation. No going out for a party or to the movies. No shopping or jewelry. No makeup or nail polish. No binge eating. No long showers. Even...no shoes (this is only for some religious orders). Okay. Okay. Hold on a second. That's a lot of "no's". I'm just trying to give a quick glimpse of what a cloister entails. But let's take a step back and look at what the motive is behind all of this. Why step out of the world? Why leave the luxury, technology, and "fun"? I'm telling you, there is only one answer to that: God. Yup. Pretty simple answer, huh? Thing is, when you die (sorry, if I'm getting morbid), you aren't going to be able to take a cell phone or even a pair of shoes with you. It's gone. It gets passed on to someone/thing else or it decays. The goal of a nun is to die to yourself right away. Get rid of the phone and shoes now because, they aren't going to come with you. So, they die to themselves and give up all of those material things, so they can focus on...God! God doesn't change; doesn't die; doesn't stop. Fortunately for us, God isn't a dictator or slave-driver. So, nuns aren't just following an endless list of rules. Instead, they are actually relieving themselves of the things of the world (all that material stuff that fades) so that they can enjoy the awesomeness of friendship with God. Boom! This makes me so excited! Friendship with God! Yay! Anyway, cloistered nuns step out of the world and perpetually stay out of it, so they can focus on what is lasting (that is one of the many things they do). What about us, though? What about us people who are in the world? Now, the world itself isn't bad and material things are not bad. They certainly can distract us, though. They can occupy our time and thoughts so that we aren't paying any attention to the everlasting Being. So...to avoid this, do we all need to become cloistered nuns (and monks)? God, I hope not! That would get messy... Cloistered nuns are arrows that point to heaven. They point to God. If you see a picture of a nun, it's supposed to make you stop and think, "Gee...this person gave up everything to live for God...now, why would they do that?" If you hear of someone who becomes a nun, it's supposed to make you think, "Well, that's a big commitment. Why on earth would they do that?" So, nuns point to God. They point to Him, who is everlasting and unchanging. They make us look at our own lives and think, "Wait a second...these gals are stepping out of the world because...in the end, we are all going to step out of the world...to go where?" Hopefully dwell with God. This leads me to a suggestion. Go close the door to your room, or go in the woods (a safe wood, please!), or an empty church, or a stairwell. Any place that will allow you to step away from people. Turn your phone on silent. Don't look at it. Just take a quick moment to be without the material stuff. No eating or drinking, no Netflix, no Facebook. Step out of the world for a second. Just think about the fact that all of that stuff isn't lasting. It's going to fade away one day. I'll leave you with that thought, though I know it may be depressing. The next post, for this coming Sunday will be about friendship with God--the solution to that depressing stuff. It is the reason why my nun friends are bubbling with joy.
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Welcome, Dear Reader, to my blog.
I warn you in advance: I am not good with the whole technology thing. Perhaps that has something to do with my history in a cloistered convent? True, the nuns don’t have cell phones or twitter accounts, but I was only with them for six months. In reality, it wasn’t the convent that shaped my lack of technology skills, it was my own doing. Okay, let's get right to the point, since this is my very first post. What’s the point of this blog? What will you be seeing if you’re a reader? What a wonderful question (I say, looking up at the sky with my eyebrows raised in expectation). Jesus. What’s the point of this blog? Does a booming voice from above tell me? Not quite literally, but I do get my answer. He pretty much says for me to sit back and just enjoy writing while the Holy Spirit takes the lead. So whatever He inspires me to write about, I will write about. Wait a second...if your an atheist, this blog is going to be a huge source of amusement for you. It may appear to you that I have an imaginary friend. Actually, He is the Friend with a capital "F"! See, Jesus is not just some distant being in the sky. He actually talks to me. And no, I don't hear voices--never have. Let me introduce you to the ways He speaks to me. For humans, we automatically think that communicating is done through our words. Actually, have you ever heard that the majority of our communication is through nonverbal cues? Our facial expressions, posture, hand gestures, grooming, and actions are a few nonverbal cues. It's the same way with the Big Man. He sometimes does speak in words, but He often chooses to communicate through nonverbal cues. For example, art, nature, and music. Art is God's own smile. The sun is His own warm hand on our shoulders. The flowers are His "love present" to each of us. And music...oh, music! He created song and our voices. He gave us the ability to make instruments. And He can speak to us through the lyrics and sounds. Other ways that He speaks is through others. That's a really big one! God dwells in us and others. That doesn't mean everything a person says is exactly the word of God, but their words can certainly be inspired by God. As can our thoughts. This inspiration of God is the Holy Spirit. I’d like to dedicate this blog to the Holy Spirit. Actually, I’d like to do more than just dedicate it to Him, I’d like to name Him mastermind behind all of my words. I’ve been really praying lately about what charisms the Holy Spirit has given me. One of them, I’ve discovered, is writing. I figure, I’m not terrible with words (though I certainly am with grammar), and writing is my absolute favorite way to pray and grow closer to God. What will I be writing about? The Holy Spirit has already given me a few clues. For starters, this blog is titled, "From Convent to College". So, I will be writing about my journey from convent to college. I'll add the befores, afters, and the in betweens as well. Through it all, my BFF, Jesus, has been leading the way. I'll be mentioning Him a lot...He's like...really important... A bit more about myself, I am a twenty-year-old, I have a twin sister, and am undecided on a major. I enjoy hiking, the outdoors, writing (I’m writing a novel) and poetry, art, singing, time with friends and family, hanging with Jesus, talking to and about nuns, gardening, and you’ll discover more if you continue reading my posts. As you may have gathered, I’m Roman Catholic. Any words that you see are underlined, please look up on my "Glossary" page, which will give you a quick definition. If there are any more words you don't know, please post a comment. Moving forward, like all of you, I am on this journey called life. Nothing is turning out the way I originally planned, and I want to share with you my experiences, consolations, sorrows, revelations, quirks, and personality in the hopes that you can relate. Maybe you're a college student like me and are trying to live your faith. Maybe you're a college student like me even without the faith and don't know what you're doing. Maybe this blog will be a source of learning about religious life, and Catholic topics. Maybe reading about a girl who is eccentrically in love with Jesus is simply amusing for you, whether you believe Jesus is or isn't God. Maybe you’re a family member/friend, who is going to get to know me better (maybe better than you would like). Maybe your stumped when it comes to what you’re doing with your life. Maybe you’re in a discernment process, like me, and the word “patience” makes you cringe. Maybe you'll find a soul who is not so different from yourself. Those are some thoughts/assumptions. Whatever the reason, I welcome you, Dear Reader. Welcome to my blog. As I reach my final days of college and this blog is titled, "From Convent to College," I thought I would share with you some final posts. Many are drafts of posts that I wrote sometime between 2017 and now. It felt like a pile of worms had been dumped into my stomach. I forced down a sip of water on the hot, August day. Too nervous to listen to music, I turned off the car radio. There it was. Central Michigan University. My parents drove behind me in our other family van, containing my twin sister's (she also went to CMU) couch and other supplies for my dorm room. It was 2016. A year ago, at this time, I was in the emergency room for suicidal ideation. Two years ago, at this time, I was preparing to enter a convent. With those experiences behind me, I was now a 19 (almost 20) year-old freshman in college, but those experiences were ingrained deeply in me and would influence my actions. I drove toward the freshman dorms. Social anxiety attack! Look at all of those people! Cars were everywhere. People were everywhere, carrying and wheeling their things into their dorm. College student now. Ok. I can do this. I fiddled with my t-shirt, instead of the hospital gown I had grown accustomed to during my emergency room stays. I patted down my hair which wasn't covered with the little white veil I wore at the convent. Jesus, I'm so happy You're here on campus. He was pretty happy too. The Catholic church was less than a ten-minute walk from my dorm, right at the center of campus. I'm telling you, transitions are so much easier when you have your best friend beside you, especially when your best friend is the Best Friend. It was time for me to participate fully in the world. Previously, I was in a cloistered convent, which is totally separated from the world. Then, my hospital stays had me pretty isolated from the world too. College though--public college--was a step into the world. Some of it was great and some of it freaked the life out of me (still does). School. Food. Drink. Money. Make-up. Clothes. Media. Sex. Music. Netflix. They aren't in themselves bad things, but they can definitely be abused. Now, for a girl with scrupulosity, this is pretty scary stuff to encounter. Not to mention the swearing, extreme political views, crude humor, and outrageous dress. I've gotten past most of my naïve shock to such things. I used to cringe every single time I heard the Lord's name taken in vain. Sometimes I still do, but I've grown used to it. Things like that have been unpleasant, but there are some really pleasant things I've discovered on campus. I already mentioned Jesus and a nearby Catholic church. The community there was top-notch. They were super accepting and the friendliest people I knew. The church had Mass, adoration, social events, speakers, service, food, recreation, and formation. And it's really pretty on the inside. Ok, besides the church? The library is pretty nifty--you can even rent out a private study room! There is always a coffee shop nearby. The chalking on the ground is fun to read and keeps you updated (when it's not snowing). Oh, yeah...and the reason why I'm here...school. I began with just some basic general education requirements, but I've already learned so much and discovered so many things--it's incredible! I've never studied sociology, geology, or psychology before. I've never taken a backpacking class either, until now. I look to Jesus and say to Him, Hey, education is pretty cool. He smiles and agrees, but isn't surprised when I look to Him the next day and say, Hey! I'm pretty sure my professor personally hates me. Also, is it humanly possible to finish all of this homework? The pile of worms in my stomach has squirmed away for the most part. I still get super nervous over different things socially, academically, and situation-ally, but I've adjusted well to college. With the exploding love of the Holy Spirit, Jacqueline |
AuthorJacqueline St. Clare: I spent six months in a cloistered convent, and now I'm a college student! Archives
April 2021
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Unexpected Church MembersAll words that are underlined can be found on the "Glossary" page
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