Body and Blood The Eucharist. He is the Eucharist. “Are you crazy?” You may ask, “All of Jesus is contained in a piece of bread and a cup of wine? What?” Yes. Jesus is present in the form of bread and wine. The night before Jesus was crucified, He gave His disciples His Body and Blood. Hence, He said, “Take this all of you and eat of it. This is My Body. This is My blood.” (See Mathew 26:26-28, Mark 14:22-25, Luke 22:17-20, John 6:22-59) So, we Catholics believe that the same Jesus Who walked this earth, died on the cross, and rose from the dead is not just sitting up in heaven watching us and He is not just “alive in our hearts and minds.” We know that He is physically present in the Eucharist. That’s why we go to Mass, and we have priests so that they, with the power and authority of God, can give us Jesus in the Eucharist. We visit Catholic churches because Jesus is there. We eat bread and wine when we go to Mass because we are consuming all of Jesus. In second grade, I made my First Communion (first reception of the Eucharist). I knew in my mind that Jesus was present because that is what my parents and catechists told me. However, it wasn’t until fourth or fifth grade that I started thinking, “Oh my goodness! Jesus? I’m receiving Jesus? Jesus…that Jesus…all of Jesus…the strong carpenter arms, the nail-marked hands and feet, the heart burning with love, the divinity of God--the all-powerful, miracle-working, forgiving God!” My mind was blown, and it continues to practically blow up every time I realize Who I’m really receiving when I’m receiving the Eucharist. Jesus: An Awesome Person to Know In this age of late elementary school, I started to know Jesus and stopped simply knowing about Him. Now, for a quick recap of my last post. I wrote that I wanted to be a nun because I thought that was my best shot at becoming an impressive saint. In middle school, I read more and more about the lives of the great saints. I would twist my lips, though, when I read about a saint hearing the actual voice of Jesus while praying or having the ability to heal a blind man. Why couldn’t I do that? These great people often vowed themselves as virgins and quickly devoted their lives to God as nuns and priests. If becoming a nun was what it took to put “saint” in front of the name “Jacqueline,” I was willing. However, as I got to know Jesus—especially as the Eucharist—I started to have other reasons for wanting to become a nun. Sure, becoming a nun would make me a saint (please know, I’m being sarcastic!), but look at all of the other benefits! Benefits like…Jesus. Nuns do everything with Jesus, and for me, spending time with Jesus was getting pretty amazing! I could talk to Him about anything and He would understand. Even better, He would talk back! He would speak to me whenever I read the bible or when I had a discussion with my dad about God. He spoke to me when I knelt to pray. I didn’t have the miraculous visions that I originally wanted, but He spoke nonetheless, and I saw Him everywhere. He was in nature and in others. He was most fully present in Church! Mass was when I got to physically embrace Him (receive the Eucharist) and hear Him tell me He was perpetually giving Himself to me in love. I learned that nuns spent all of their time with Jesus. “Who wouldn’t want to be a nun?” I thought. “Everyone should be nuns and priests so they can spend every second living for and with God.” I entered middle school and my desire for “nunhood” grew as I knew Jesus more and more. He would hold my hand when my social anxiety was kicking in. He was present when other kids made fun of me. He was there to play with me and He would inspire my creativity. I’d dream about going to the eternal kingdom to spend time with Him and His angels in His heavenly palace. He challenged me to be kind to my sisters and classmates. He asked me to pray more because He loved talking to me too. I was falling in love with Jesus. Slowly, He increasingly won my affection with His constant presence and His gift of self. The great romantic God that He is was wooing me, and I was unable to resist. Stay tuned for Chapter 3 to read more of this love story
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Bombarded With Love I'll explain the nun costume in a minute. First, let's imagine me as a baby since that is where I left off on my last post. As I mentioned in the prologue, God was planning to win my affection by bombarding me with His clever, persistent, and totally amazing love. He gave me a twin sister, fantastic parents, and an awesome family. Even when I didn’t know His Name, He gave me the warmth of my mom’s embrace and the calming voice of my dad. Everyone loves babies! I think that is not only because they are cute. I think that when we look at a baby, we look at them the same way God looks at a person. We see them as beautiful, full of goodness, and even if they cry outrageously or spit up on our clothes, we don’t hate them. In the same way, God sees all people as beautiful, full of goodness, and even if we cry outrageously or commit all sorts of wrongs, He doesn’t hate us. God loved baby Jacqueline, as He loves all people. Thank God for Parents My parents knew of God’s love for me, and they had experienced it personally. Therefore, they wanted to introduce me to this Great Lover. They baptized me into the Roman Catholic Church a few months after my birth. They claimed me as Christ’s, and before I could even understand their words, they told me about my Great Lover. I started to talk and I started to walk. I began to learn right from wrong, and I knew the name of Jesus. I knew Catholic prayers and I went to Church. I knew that God was love. My parents and catechists told me it was so, and I believed it was so. I was told that bread and wine become Jesus’ Body and Blood during Mass, and I believed it (See Eucharist in glossary page). I knew the words, prayers, and theology, but did I really know it. Did I fully understand the ridiculousness of what I was believing and the amount of faith it took? Did I know how marvelously incredible these teachings were? NO, NO, NO. Here is where some Catholics who are born into the faith explain that there was a big “aha” moment in which they truly became Catholics out of their own will and not their parents. They may have had a revelation/realization; when their knowledge of God became an experience; what they knew in their head, suddenly was known in the heart. They went from knowing ABOUT Jesus to KNOWING Jesus. This didn’t happen for me in one moment. Like many other Catholics, it was very gradual. I can’t pinpoint one exact moment for you in which I finally knew Jesus. However, I can pinpoint five hundred moments in which I knew Jesus more and more! Some moments stand out more than others, but I have up to dozens a day (I’ll keep sharing them as you keep reading this “book”). Some moments are when I look at the sky and am like, Oh God! You exist! Others are when I’m listening to a reading during Church and I suddenly think, So that’s what it means! Even those who have big “aha” moments can see moments in their past, where the love of God was pelting them and they didn’t know it, or they see how each day, they renew their devotion to Jesus and gradually grow in fervor and understanding. About That Nun Picture... My gradual growth in my relationship with Jesus started with a childlike interest in God. Think of a relationship between a man and woman—it starts off with interest, not vows, love, and commitment. I loved going to religious education classes and I enjoyed praying with my family. An all-loving God that we get to talk to whenever we want sounded pretty awesome. So, I went to church and I prayed. By the time I was in elementary school, I’d do fun Catholic things like naming my guardian angel (whose name is Sammy, by the way) and reading about the lives of the saints. Now, being a saint had a nice ring to it. I mean, becoming a famous person who does heroic acts and is known for their great virtue—who wouldn’t want that? I guess I was only thinking about canonized saints—the famous people. There are bazillions of saints who we've never heard of and don't have the title of “Saint” in front of their names. However, I thought, “I want to be a canonized saint. Famous and well-loved by people.” I wanted to do all of the great things saints did. Oh, and that included performing miracles, having visions, and being complimented all the time about how holy I was. As Catholics know, saints are not people who do great things and are famous. Rather, they are people who are so totally in love with God, that they allow that love to overflow from them. Clearly, I did not understand what being a saint was all about as I was missing the “love of God” part in all of this and turned it to “love of me.” Our dear God was likely thinking, “Oh, my little daughter, Jacqueline. She wants to be a saint. Yes, I will make her a saint, but it’s going to be a lot different than what she is planning. That’s okay. I gave her this desire for greatness. As she seeks Me, she will find Me, thus discovering the truth of Who I Am.” My head filled with fantasies. I was disappointed when statues of Jesus didn’t come to life for me or I sinned by being mean to my sisters. After all, saints have visions (please note my sarcasm) and know how to love their sisters! What could I do? How could I reach sainthood? I looked through my books on the lives of the saints. What did the great saints have in common? I ignored the fact that their love-filled relationship with God was what they shared and instead concluded that most of the saints were either priests or nuns. Now, I was in fourth grade and it was career day at school. That meant we got to go to school dressed as what we wanted to be when we grew up. Guess what I wanted to be? A nun. The picture at the top of the article attests to that. I wish I could say it was my immense love for God that originally inspired my desire to radically give everything to Jesus, but I was originally inspired by my desire to become an impressive saint. Did I truly know what being a nun meant? Nope. Did I even have a devotion to the Eucharist? Not even close. Jesus was okay with that. He was ready to take my desire for greatness by showing me Greatness Himself. Stay tuned for Chapter 2: KNOWING Jesus Why, hello there! You are about to read a story about Jesus and I. It’s a bit of a long story and will thus take several blog posts to complete it. I also find it very romantic, just to warn you. I will be dividing it into chapters, posting one a week. Please stick through with it, because there is an awesome climax I want to share with you. Prologue: The Great Romantic First and foremost, I, Jacqueline Rae, was a thought in the mind of God. I did not yet exist, but God always existed. He knew me before I was even conceived (Jeremiah 1:5). Now, as God was planning to create me—my femininity, brown hair, and tall body—He had an awesome plan in mind. It was so awesome, that I can’t even say what it is. Sorry to disappoint you, but I have only the slightest sliver of what the awesome plan is. I’m sure I will get to know a bit more as I live on in life, but for now, it is only a sliver. God knew that I would reject Him. I would willingly break myself from my relationship with Him (Take a look at the book of Genesis). I would turn away from His love. He knew that because of sin, I would often choose myself over Him. That’s why this Smart Guy sent His Son, Jesus, into the world (John 3:16). He sent Jesus so that I would have the opportunity to come back to God and His love; so that my relationship would be restored with God; so that all of the times I’d choose myself over God, Jesus would choose me over Himself. Since God wanted me so badly (and everyone else of course...), He sent Jesus to take on the damage man made by sin. Jesus died, as we all know, and Jesus rose, as all Christians know (Just read the bible--especially the New Testament. It talks about Christ's death and resurrection). God knew that even though He sent His Son to redeem me, I would still choose myself over Him. I would still turn away from His love. Even if I claimed myself as a lover of Jesus, I would still sin. I could love God, but I would love Him most imperfectly (Romans 3:23). Knowing this, God was ready to accept this imperfect love. He craved my love and found me beautiful. God's love is known as the Holy Spirit (see glossary section for more information on the Trinity) God the Holy Spirit is the perfect love between God the Father and God the Son (let’s call Him “Love” since that is what He is). Love would give Himself to me perfectly so that if I gave my imperfect love to Him, He would make it perfect. Does that make sense? Sorry. Sometimes I get carried away with poetic words. In simple terms, I mean: Jesus came so that He could renew my relationship with God. So, God was ready. He created me, and He was madly in love with me. I would be kicking and crying from the moment I was born, prone to reject Him, yet He wanted me. The great romantic that He is, had a master plan to woo me. He was going to win my affection by bombarding me with His clever, persistent, and totally amazing love. Stay tuned for "Chapter 1: Knowing ABOUT Jesus" You might find it strange that I'm suddenly throwing the word "magic" out there, especially since I basically talk about Catholic topics. Bear with me; I'll explain. I'm working at a Young Author's Day Camp this summer and the children I work with have huge imaginations and believe in great things. That includes the Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause, mermaids, Superman, fairy dust, and magic. I look at them and think, "Yeah. I used to believe in that type of stuff, but I grew up. Of course fairies and superheros are not real." Then I think, "Wow. This is kind of sad. We imagine all of these great, wonderful things as children and it turns out that they are not real. That makes a pretty boring and disappointing life." The Good Man, Jesus, is always quick to correct me. "What do you mean this great, fun stuff isn't real?" He asks me. "Okay Jesus. Imagination is good. It helps us grow as people and see what we as humans are capable of." "Think, Jacqueline," Jesus says, "Think of all the wonderful things that are real--that are not a part of your imagination." "Oh." My mouth drops. I can think of a lot. Let me list some stuff for you. Supernatural beings are real. I talk to them everyday. Jesus of course is the most obvious Being. He can walk on water, raise the dead (including Himself), and inspire us to do marvelous things. None of that is make-believe. None of that is just imagination. Moving forward. There are more supernatural beings than just God Himself. He's got a legion of angels. Ever studied the angels before? There are nine choirs of angels: seraphim, cherubim, thrones, dominions, powers, virtues, principalities, archangels, and angels (Guardian Angels). Believe in fairies? I don't, but I know we've got armies of spirits who carry out God's commands. (See Our Sunday Visitor's Catholic Encyclopedia by Rev. Peter M.J. Stravinskas). Do we have real enemies with the power to capture and imprison us--the ability to destroy the world? You betcha. Satan and his demons are real, and their power is totally different than greedy earthly rulers or worldly wars. There are things we can't see, but things that are real. I know, it's not natural for us to just believe in this type of supernatural stuff. The truth is that there are superheros, powerful creatures, spirits that are good and bad, and miracles. All of the "power" and "super" parts of this come from God alone as He is the one with all power. Narnia, The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, and other fantastical stories are on to something. Our belief in "other-world" stuff isn't supposed to end when childhood ends. It's supposed to maturely form into the belief in the spiritual world--the "other-world" that is indeed real. |
AuthorJacqueline St. Clare: I spent six months in a cloistered convent, and now I'm a college student! Archives
April 2021
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Unexpected Church MembersAll words that are underlined can be found on the "Glossary" page
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